Existence

"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a
fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from
care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will
mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your
existence lie ahead."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 152~

I love this reading in meetings. The word existence stands out for me today. I am feeling hum drum. Have a lots of benedryl for the last week, my allergies are kicking my ass. Did go to my cycle class, I dig it! It kicks my butt, but afterwards I feel so good. Sometimes my legs feel like rubber and other times I am just tough!!! It for me depends on the instructor, the music makes the difference for me.

I use to just exist, before sobriety and today I live my life to the fullest. Yes there are down times, like this weekend, but I am ok with that. I just piddled around the house, if I felt like putting some wash in I did it and if I felt like folding the clothes I did that too. In the past I would beat myself up for days like this last weekend. It is ok just to coast through the day, and it is ok to fly through the day with all kinds of activity going on, the main for me is to be in the moment of what I am doing, no matter what it is. Feelings like good, bad, or just different are ok with me today. I just am. I have definitely found release from care, boredom and worry, if I am there I am there. I use to really sweat the stuff like god I just dont have anything to do, I always thought I had to keep busy, I think that was me being uncomfortable with my self. today I am not boring or bored. And times are tough for Greg and I right now, or let me put it this way, the finances are not coming in like they use to before his partners and new business, but we are ok, no matter what. My god we definitely are doing way better than what we use to, having to live paycheck to paycheck that is not the case so much anymore today, I have to be grateful with what we have been given and know that no matter what even if we had to go back to paycheck to paycheck it is going to be ok, I honestly believe that!! Wow what a deal. Life is good!! I love my life.
Greg went down this weekend at the office and trimmed the trees back to take some photos of our new office. Thought I would share them.
Like I said life is great today, we are all good. That is not boasting that is just remembering where I or we were at and where we are today!!