Awareness

From my reading Buddhism without beliefs:

Awareness is a process of deepening self-acceptance. It is neither a cold, surgical examination of life nor a means of becoming perfect. Whatever it observes, it embraces. There is nothing unworthy of acceptance. The light of awareness will doubtless (without doubt)illuminate things we would prefer not to see.

Awareness has definitely been an on going process for me since day one of my sobriety, I was aware that I could not drink or use like I use to. I was aware of the hatred and the delusions that my mind was made up of, my seeing others as they truly are and not as what I perceived them to be. This has been a long process over the years of my sobriety, subtle and sometimes not so subtle and in my face.

My awareness today has definitely evolved from there to here. I love the part of the doubtless illuminate things we would prefer not to see. I am aware of the good things and also of the bad things. The good news is that my awareness for me has brought a lot of growth, being able to be ok with all of me. I dont have to beat myself up like I use to. My thoughts are my thoughts and my actions are the result. I today choose to make better choices in how I react to my thoughts. They are just thoughts, most I do just get to observe and if necessry I will act. I have come to realize that I do and am connected with all things and so if I hurt others and things than I am hurting myself also. I want to be good to myself and there fore I get to be good to others. The things that I prefer not to see are always the things that I need more action on, more work on, steps of AA, talk with my sponsor on, just dont react, go to meetings, the answers do come, the growth does come.